The Great Enemy of Somatics
You know what question comes up for people incredibly often when first engaging with any sort of Trauma work? Can you guess? It’s “why?” We have this deeply ingrained and endearingly human idea that if we can find the reason for what happened to us, we can somehow prevent it from occurring again and even prevent it from affecting our lives after the fact! The illusion of control!
Would it upset you to know that rarely, if ever do we get an answer to “why?” Sit with that for a second and notice how that makes you feel? What comes up? Often, I hear things like “panic,” “anxiety,” “fear” or even “rage!” Do any of those show up for you? Now we have a feeling on top of your feelings that has to be resolved! “Why” makes extra work. I don’t know anyone who wants to add the need for extra healing on top of what they are already healing.
It is for this reason that I call “why” the great enemy of Somatic work. In this journey to healing, we are interested in, curious about and tuned into what shows up right now in this moment! If we go down the spiral of trying to analyze why something has shown up, it takes us right out of being with whatever has surfaced, and we simply get nowhere.
When I’m working with childhood wounds, that impish question often wants to surface. “Why did this happen to me?” “Why didn’t I get what I needed from the people who were supposed to give it?” It is absolutely fair to ask, but you also have to be prepared for the fact that even if some sort of answer shows up, it will never be significant enough to heal the wound left behind. When working with Birth Trauma the “why” can be infinite! And yes, there are clinical questions that can offer great assistance when we just get to learn why any given procedure may have happened. But we sure don’t get to know why one body reacted to the birth process one way and another completely different. Trying to figure this out is a never-ending spiral that pulls us away from productive regulation!
So now that we’ve established that the “why” is the enemy to working with our nervous system, what am I suggesting? “What?” Just that! What shows up right now, in this moment when you begin to think about your healing? Can we just be with the sensation? Trusting that the body is a great healer and that it knows the exact path to regulation, we need to listen to what it is telling us. It doesn’t matter why. It only matters what. So, take a moment, tune in, and notice what shows up for you? And if that pesky “why” enters the frame, acknowledge it for the purpose it is attempting to serve, politely remind it that you are interested in healing and send it on it’s way.